


Of hot cocoa and confessions

by Megxolotl, StarfallGalaxy



Category: Invader Zim
Genre: Dib is a moron, Facepalm worthy, M/M, Pining, so much pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-13
Updated: 2020-02-13
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:41:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,481
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22693483
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Megxolotl/pseuds/Megxolotl, https://archiveofourown.org/users/StarfallGalaxy/pseuds/StarfallGalaxy
Summary: “You like a human?!” Dib’s jaw dropped; whoever the fuck this was was a lucky bastard. A lucky bastard that his jealousy wanted to bring about an untimely end to. Or maybe print out their picture and punch it a couple thousand times. Yeah, that sounded good. “You, Mr. ‘Almighty-better-than-everyone-in the-galaxy’, like a human?”AKA "Dib is a pining moron who doesn't recognize a love confession until it smacks him in the face"Rating T because of a couple swear words
Relationships: Dib/Zim (Invader Zim)
Comments: 22
Kudos: 168





	Of hot cocoa and confessions

Dib rested his head on his knees, whimpering. He couldn’t believe he had just stood up in front of a bunch of people on a real, actual stage and accidentally announced to every, single last person there that he was gay. Instead of exposing another great mystery to the world he had….he had...he had exposed himself. He groaned, burying his face even more into his legs. He could never face anyone ag-

“Dib-human?” Dib jumped at the sound of a certain green skinned boy that may or may not have helped him in coming to this conclusion. 

He peeked at him out of the corner of his eye, trailing up the black tights, the white tank top under the sparkly pink off the shoulder tee he got him last Christmas. It revealed the dark speckles that ran down the soft green shoulder, like sprinkles on a cupcake. Dib blushed when he imagined little Zim cupcakes. God, he was stupid…

"Diib. Dib Dib Dib Dib Dib," Suddenly Zim's face was in his field of vision. No, scratch that, Zim's face was so close Dib could kiss him right there and then. “You ran away leaking after talking about being the ‘Gay’. Your future overlord demands to know what that is and why it has made you…,” Zim screwed up his face. “Drip.”   
“What?!” Did Zim really not know what being gay was? “It means,” His gaze drifted to the dark lips. “I just...no...no! I’m not telling you! You’ll just make fun of me like everyone else!” 

With a huff of finality, Dib pressed his face back to his knees but Zim wasn’t one to give up easily. The Irken growled, grabbing Dib’s knees and forcing them apart. Dib made a loud squeak when he found himself on the ground with claws against his chest and a very pissed off Irken with lekku raised high pressing their faces together. 

“Zi-Zim!”   
“Tell. Me. Now. Dib-friend.” Zim’s eyes were narrowed into magenta slits.

“NO! Why do you care anyw-”

Zim pressed one claw to Dib’ lips, effectively making him shut up and become the color of strawberry soda, “You told me that friends don’t let friends hurt. Was that a lie, human?”

Dammit! Dib made a little wiggly waving motion with his arms. Clearly not enough to satisfy the “always-straight-to-the-point” Zim if the glare he received was of any telling. 

“Yes. Or. No?”

“...yes?” Dib squeaked. “But it’s complicated, okay?”

“What’s so complicated about it?”    
“ _ Everything. _ ” The human teen sighed, flopping backwards, Zim following him. “Oh for...if I tell you will you leave me alone?” 

Dib dreaded saying that but if it got Zim off his back, he would be very happy to do it. After all, what was one more voice in the sea of hate? 

_ ‘Oh, right, it’s different cause Zim just happened to be your crush, way to go, Dib. As if you could be any more pathetic,’  _ the voice in Dib's head whispered, making a nagging feeling in his gut start to tug again.  _ ‘No, it’s not like baring your soul to him and having it crushed underneath his boot won’t shatter the fuck out of you. Stupid bitch…’ _

“Nope!” There was an obscene amount of smugness in Zim’s tone. “You’re not going to be rid of Zim that easily. Now spit the toad.”

“What the-...but I offered you what you want...ugh! Fucking FINE! IT MEANS I LIKE BOYS, ALRIGHT?! NOW JUST GO THE FUCK AWAY SO I CAN GO JUMP OFF A BRIDGE!” Dib shoved Zim off of him, rolling over so that his face was buried in the grass and wildflowers beneath them. With any luck he’d get a poison sting from something or the ground one swallow him whole. One could only hope. “Just go away…”

“...what is wrong with liking the male specimen of your species? Are you not a male?” Zim sounded as if Dib had just told him that the Earth was flat. “I will never get you humans ‘gen-deers’.”

“No, Zim...I…” A pained groan welled up from the paranormal investigator’s chest. “It means I’m a guy who is physically attracted to other guys. I don’t fall in love with girls. I fall for guys.”

“...so? On my planet that does not matter.”

“In case you forgot, we’re on Earth right now. Earth. Where everybody despises me and is on the lookout for some new excuses to hurt other people in general. Which usually has to do with any difference they can find! Like...like liking guys…” He buried his face back into the ground. “Especially if  _ I _ like guys…”

“Yes and Earth is stupid. And it is physically impossible what you just said,” Zim was a math teacher correcting his student, bored with this stupid child that refused to learn anything past his ABCs. “You said that everyone here despises you. We are on Earth, both of us. We are friends. Therefore, I do not despise you and that means not everyone on this dirt ball despises you.”

There was the smugness again. 

“You used to.” 

“Used.”

A rumble started from above, both of them tensing from the sound and what it meant. Zim’s hand snuck forward, grabbing a chunk of Did’s coat. He squeezed, a small whimper in his throat. 

“You should go home. If you didn’t wear paste,” Dib picked himself up off the ground, wiping his glasses off with a sleeve. “Before you become the witch from the ' scary rainbow movie’.”

“You know she should’ve won!” Zim hissed before scooting closer to Dib when another rumble started overhead. “Let’s get hot cocoa!”

“What?”

The Almighty ex-Invader grabbed his hand and pulled, scrambling to his feet at the next rumble. He started trying to pull his friend in the direction of the coffee shop he liked so much, the one with the exact hipster feel that Zim had started radiating in recent years. It was a small, dumpy place right next to the park they were sitting in, tan and dookie brown. Dib personally hated it there but he usually let Zim drag him there anyways either out of boredom or as an excuse to sit really close next to him. The human zoned out as he was pulled towards it’s door, remembering the times Zim would use him to lean against while he flipped through the questionnaire in Teen Magazine, still filling it out even as he complained about it’s unrealistic interpretations of himself and how right it was about Dib whenever he got insulting answers. Fun times.

The little bells on the door chimed as the last warning rumbles of thunder echoed in Zim’s lekku. He shoved Dib and himself inside just as the first droplets hit the pavement. Not even five second later, the rain turned into a proper downpour, hitting the windows in wide watery globs. Here went the plans for the afternoons.

“Great, the place is packed and there’s only one small booth left. Unless one of us wants to sit in the seat where someone apparently decided to stick all of their gum I think we’re going to have a pro-...GAH!”

Dib got the breath knocked out of him when he was shoved into the tiny seat, getting even more uncomfortable when Zim decided to park himself right onto his lap, his legs crossing right over human’s as he leaned back and made himself comfortable and Dib increasingly more tomato than human. 

“Wh-watthefuckZim!” Dib whisper yelled at the alien menace. Surely the other patrons were already mumbling and plotting the best way to kick them outside and smack a big sign with their silhouettes on it barred by a red cross right on the front door. Oh god, he could already feel the waitresses whispering to each other about kicking them out…

“Simple, I am using you as a chair. Which you are very good at being, by the way,” Dib half wished he would get off as they ordered, his face burning and eyes unable to look anywhere but the floor, and half wished that Zim could take off his disguise so that he could feel their fuzzy tips against his cheeks. “Besides, I always do this when we are in your room.”

Dib paled, slamming his head in the crook of Zim’s neck to hide there. God, why did Zim have to say such stupid stuff in public for?

“You know, I’ve loved many males and females.”

Dib's mind wandered back to that fateful Valentine. 

"You don't say." If he was to die of embarrassment, the least he could do was drag Zim under with him. 

“But there is one particular male who is the only one who has not rejected me yet…,” Zim was actually being quiet for once, which made Dib’s heart lurch. “And I think...he is certainly the best choice.”

Another guy? Who was he? What did he look like? He was probably some strapping Irken with pink eyes and long antennae, a high ranking on Irk...God, why did this make him so upset? Of course Zim had someone else of his own kind. It was only natural, right?

“Lucky Irken…” He tried to sound sarcastic, hoping not to let on that he wanted to add ‘bastard’ on the end of that. 

“Oh, he’s not an Irken.”

Their cocoa came finally, just as Zim had dropped that bombshell. Dib couldn't wrap his head around it. Zim  _ not  _ going after an Irken? Blasphemy! Especially not after all that talk about Irkens being better than everybody! He watched with wide eyes as the alien sipped his cocoa. Was it a Vortian? No, not them. Who? The Meekrob (apparently they were a real thing, much for Dib’s scorn. Yes, he was still pretty miffed about the simulation-as-revenge-for-a-muffin, thank you very much.) had a standing feud, and Zim wasn’t the type for some star-crossed love story. That was part of the reason Dib couldn’t go after him! Who...who…

Oh shit.

“ _ You _ like a  _ human _ ?!” Dib’s jaw dropped; whoever the fuck this was was a lucky bastard. A lucky bastard that his jealousy wanted to bring about an untimely end to. Or maybe print out their picture and punch it a couple thousand times. Yeah, that sounded good. “You, Mr. ‘Almighty-better-than-everyone-in the-galaxy’, like a  _ human?” _

“Shush! The humans here will hear!” Zim giggled, pushing Dib’s cup to his lips. “Heh...funny. But yes, though he is more than just a lowly human. He is the best human.”

Zim went back to sipping his cocoa, letting the human he was using as a chair take his own cup into his hand. Dib watched the steam rise up from the cup, imagining it as all his hope flying away. That human was probably rich, someone who had a car and a thousand ways to get into space without even thinking about it. Someone who was tall with a mysterious air about him. Or maybe it was someone who liked talking about stuff with Zim, who didn’t have sweaty hands. For a split, wonderful second, he had hoped that Zim would say “you”. What a fool.

It wasn’t like Zim stayed on Earth just for him. 

He sipped lazily at the cocoa in his hand, wondering if it was too late to jump off that bridge if he couldn’t drown his sorrows in this chocolate. He licked his lips afterwards, chasing the taste. At least something in his life wasn’t bullshit right now. He looked down to find Zim staring at him with half lidded eyes, a faint purple streak across his cheeks. 

“Hey, what’s wrong?”

“UH! N-nothing! Y-you have chocolate on your face stupid human!” 

“Oh.” Dib started to wipe it on the back of his sleeve.

“No, wait, you stupid-...y-you don’t do it like that!” Was it just Dib imagination or was the purple not-so-faint anymore? “Here, let Zim do it if you, since you’re incapable.”

And that’s when it happened. 

Zim’s hand gently, gently,  _ gently  _ brushed up his neck to land on his chin tilting it up so his thumb could very slowly slide across his lips...wiping up excess chocolate before Zim licked the chocolate off of his thumb. And Dib swore his heart just stopped because Zim had freaking indirectly kissed him. He sunk down in the seat, his lips still tingling from the touch. 

Zim, on the other hand, was cheering himself on in the back of his mind. He had done it! He had found an excuse to touch Dib  _ more _ ! Victory for Zim! He sunk down with Dib, getting comfy on his lap once more. His plan was going perfectly.

He was going to get to touch Dib, make him happy again  _ and _ confess, all at the same time like a good mate would!

Safely out of Zim’s field of vision, Dib was blushing madly, silently praying to whoever could be bothered to listen to swiftly be thrown out in the rain. Anything but this -Dib’s mind cogs sputtered indignantly-  _ yearning. Unrequited  _ yearning at it! He briefly considered shoving Zim out of his lap as petty revenge.

_ ‘How dare you make me love you…’ _

Zim continued sipping his chocolate, blissfully ignorant of the turmoil he had thrown Dib into. The human growled, then squeaked as Zim turned around, brushing against his lap in ways that no teenage boy should have to go through when they were yearning like this. 

“Agh...Zim...get off!” Dib had become a tomato at this point, pushing Zim off of him with a bit too much force so the alien’s head banged off the table. There was a stunned silence while he watched the Irken get up, a fine trail of pink going from the top of his eye to his cheek…”I’m s-sorry...I didn’t…”

Dib grabbed some of those wax paper napkins. Zim’s bleeding got a bit worse due to the well-intentioned poking and prodding. The Irken winced, his lekku low under his wig as Dib’s concerned face filled his vision. How he liked those gold eyes darting over every inch of him, his gaze stopping on Zim’s lips once or twice. Maybe Dib did feel the same? It certainly felt that way to him…

“Zim? Are you okay? It didn’t give you a concussion or anything, right? I didn’t mean to push you that hard it’s just that you were kinda touching...parts…”

Zim tilted his head to the side, his talon landing on Dib’s inner thigh as he leaned in. Did Dib mean his PAK or heart or whatever humans had? Dib touched Zim’s PAK every day whenever he did that stupid goose laugh of his. Zim felt airy, his claw sliding to Dib’s inner thigh.

“What parts?”   
“Uh...heh...um…” It was hard to focus with the Irken so close. “Um...th-that’s not important! It’s just...are you okay? Cause I’ve never seen you bleed before and..uh...um…”

Dib felt his brain starting to become mush as he slowly leaned toward Zim, their lips inches away from each other. The alien’s eyes were half-lidded, what had his sister called them? ‘Bedroom eyes’? Yeah, right. Like Zim would ever...but they were leaning in, weren’t they? He thought he was the one without a possible concussion…

“Better than okay…” Their lips brushed when they said that, nearly kissing. “My hu-”

Dib jumped as Zim suddenly slipped, falling flat on top of him with his claws sort of brushing near his ‘area’ making him jump up with Zim in his arms to avoid another incident, put the little ex-Invader  _ gently  _ down onto the seat, murmur ‘bathroom’ and dash off to the restroom. 

...The coat did little to muffle his screams of “ _ what the hell!” _ that reverberated in the stall. Had that just happened?

“Diib? Did you fall and drown in the toilet? Those ladies out there are asking if my ‘boyfriend’ is okay and I do not know what to tell them!”

_ SHIT _ ! Zim was just outside the door.  **Why** was  _ ZIM  _ outside the door? Was he supposed to let him in and witness his freakout? Because the situation was very much warranting a freakout and Dib had three quarters of a mind to step in the toilet and flush himself out to sea rather than confront Zim on what happened. OR the staff. He didn’t want to confront either of them, but given the choice between a frying pan and the fire, he’d take the staff. He didn’t have feelings for the staff, at least. How could this day get any worse?

“Diiib…” He could practically hear the mocking tone now. Except it sounded deceptively like concern. A few knocks on the door in the Mysterious Mysteries theme.“How is my ‘boyfriend’?”

“I’m not your boyfriend!” But he wanted to be. Oh, how he wanted to be so he could chuck that lucky, lucky asshole out of a window and replace him with himself.

“Of course not. I would never use such a lowly term for you,” Zim snorted. “I would much rather use the term ‘mate’. Much stronger and braver, like you.”

Dib felt his insides go cold, did Zim just say he wasn’t worth being his boyfriend?! After all he put him through today and most of their lives?! Oh, no. Zim was not getting away with this. He was not going to stand here and let Zim insult him right after the worst day of his life of being outed twice over and-...and…

Dib slammed the stall open, towering over Zim and just about to tell him all of that when he caught the bedroom eyes and that last piece of dialogue that made it all slide into place. Did...did Zim just imply he’d call him his ‘mate’?

“Did you just imply that you wanted me as your...did you just…?” Dib stumbled over the words in his head. “Huh?”

“Do you…” Zim shrunk into himself, looking just as nervous as Dib felt a few minutes ago. “Not want to be mates?”   
“But...but you like some random rich human!”

“But you are a rich human.”

“And...and someone who has a car and can go to space without even thinking about it!”

“Also you.”

“Someone who’s tall with a mysterious air about him!”

“Is that not what the coat is for?”

“Someone who likes talking about stuff with…” Dib’s face turned red as he realized what exactly their friendship was based on. “You...you like me?”

Zim gave him what could have been possibly the most condescending face in the universe as he looked up at him, the words from an hour ago echoing back at him. 

_ ‘Therefore, I do not despise you and that means not everyone on this dirt ball despises you. _

_ You used to. _

**_Used.’_ **

“Oh...my god…” Dib’s eyes started misting over, his body shaking with finally resolved romantic tension. Zim  _ liked him.  _ He started laughing, hysterically. Then he slammed into the stall door behind him, starting to cry.

“Dib…? Come here and hold your Zim,” Zim gave him ‘gimmie’ arms, like he usually did when he was upset. “Please?”

“Fuck off Zim! You think you can make me  **_PINE_ ** like an absolute idiot for  **YEARS** and then a ‘I like you’ will solve the situation‽” Dib screamed. “Do you have ANY IDEA what it’s felt like every FUCKING day sitting here and WANTING you?!”

“Well, YOU made ZIM wait, too! I’VE been sitting here wanting YOU!” Zim snapped, his lekku shaking off his wig before standing at high alert. 

“WHY?!”   
“BECAUSE I LOVE YOU, YOU FLORPING IDIOT!”

Their lips crashed together as soon as it was out, Zim lunging into Dib’s arms to make the two of them start to tip backwards as they pulled at each other, still miffed. Dib got a couple of hits in, not breaking from green lips while Zim kept clawing at his back, his boot getting a couple of kicks in. Slowly but surely, with a bleeding lip, Dib’s breathing started calming. Suddenly the fight started to drain out of him as he discovered that if he moved just right he could cradle Zim just as he was kissing him, letting Zim’s face become purple while the little Irken’s sweet claws grasped his face to pull his head down for more kisses. This...this was okay…

They were okay…

“Zim...mph...Zim...mmm...Zim, I need to breathe.”

Right, humans breathed through their mouths. Frankly, the most inefficient design in the galaxy. Zim reluctantly let his mate ( ? Hope’s always the last to die) go and gulp some lungfuls.

“Better?”

Dib didn’t bother to answer, silencing the Irken with another kiss.

“No. Much more.”Dib was crying a little bit, dropping his head into Zim’s chest. “Now let’s get out of this bathroom, okay?”

“I will go wherever you go, my human.”

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, they're morons. But they are each other's moron, so it evens out


End file.
